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Children Family

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Children moving on…….

Tomorrow, I go to my oldest daughter’s graduation from GRADUATE school. .GRADUATE SCHOOL?  When did that happen? What does this mean to my family? Are we breaking up? Will I ever see her again?  Lots of questions going through my mind right now. I work with lots of families. Eventually, children move on. College, after college,  jobs, relocation….marraige, grandchildren, need I go on? The one thing in life you can count on is “change”.  It is difficult for all of us to face “change”. It challenges our very being. I like to reframe this “children moving on” thing as “families in transition and growth”. The dysfunctional version of this is “how can I hang on longer and not let you go so fast”.  The functional version is “our family is a circle, you do what you need to do and there will always be a place for you when you want to come back in”. So, think about what that means in your family. Perhaps your child is starting Kindergarten instead of graduating GRADUATE SCHOOL. It has a similar meaning. Your family is in transition. It is a crisis for the family and for the child. It is the child’s job to separate and the parent’s responsibility to make room for that separation. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to  feel the loss and  rejoice in your child’s successes and happiness. Keep your heart open so that healthy growth will find it’s way in.

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