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Codependency means different things to different people.  To me, codependency suggests a state in which a person experiences a sense of self identification only when he or she uses the views or feelings of another person. Typically, a codependent person will abandon his/ her own viewpoints (not even know what they are) in favor of those of another person.


This is a problem because the codependent person never experiences a true sense of self.  In general, people cannot achieve fulfillment in life without developing a strong sense of who they are, what they feel and think.  A feeling of unfulfillment always signifies the need for some kind of change.  I am optimistic about a person’s ability to change.


When we want to make changes, we need:

-Awareness and acknowledgement that there is a problem. Nothing in life is permanent. Change is inevitable.

-Love and acceptance of ourselves as we are now.  We don’t have to love our behavior to accept our behavior.  Conscious change doesn’t happen without acceptance of what is.

-Nurturing- We are human which means we make mistakes and are not perfect.  We need to learn to take care of ourselves as we are with our “imperfections”.

-Validation0 Awareness, acceptance, love and nurturing are stepping stones to self validation.  Visualize positive things you see about yourself. Look in the mirror and find what you physically life about yourself. Remember to be mindful of these positive thoughts throughout your day.

-Read and research about codependency. The internet is a good resource. I recommend “Codependency No More” by Melody Beattie.

There is hope. Find your voice. When you do so, you will be able to learn what fulfills you in life and live a more satisfying one.



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