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Just Because you Think it , Doesn’t Mean it is True

I say this to myself daily.  The mind is illusional by nature. Us humans have the ability to “see” the same issue from many different angles.  All the angles are “correct”, just different.  I’m reminded of the tale of three blind men touching an elephant.  When an observer asks each of the blind men to describe this animal, the one touching the trunk says “this animal is long and round and moves up and down”.The blindman touching the body says “this animal is large and hard and solid”. The one touching the tail says “this animal is small and curly”.  They are all correct, but each one knew only a piece of the whole being which we call an Elephant.

We react to our thoughts through behavior and the emotions that the thoughts provoke.  We become involved and “sucked into” those thoughts as if they are the total reality. But we may be looking at only part of the whole matter under  consideration.  We respond to the world based on those thoughts.  Thoughts are powerful. It is actually difficult to NOT think.

Try this exercise:

Close your eyes and focus on your breath.  Notice the air coming in with every inhalation.  Notice the release of the breath each time you exhale. Become aware of the thoughts going through your mind.  Observe the birth of each thought.  Imagine the thought as a ship coming into the harbor, but don’t let it dock.  Be aware of the sensations and emotions that arise throughout.  Another ship will be right behind it.  Go back tofocusing on your breath.  Notice the sensations in your body.

Try this exercise daily. You will be practicing several things: observing your thoughts, connecting with your mind/body experience, letting go of thoughts, awareness of the kind of thoughts you tend to have. 

Say to yourself “Just because you think it, doesn’t mean it is true”.



Codependency means different things to different people.  To me, codependency suggests a state in which a person experiences a sense of self identification only when he or she uses the views or feelings of another person. Typically, a codependent person will abandon his/ her own viewpoints (not even know what they are) in favor of those of another person.


This is a problem because the codependent person never experiences a true sense of self.  In general, people cannot achieve fulfillment in life without developing a strong sense of who they are, what they feel and think.  A feeling of unfulfillment always signifies the need for some kind of change.  I am optimistic about a person’s ability to change.


When we want to make changes, we need:

-Awareness and acknowledgement that there is a problem. Nothing in life is permanent. Change is inevitable.

-Love and acceptance of ourselves as we are now.  We don’t have to love our behavior to accept our behavior.  Conscious change doesn’t happen without acceptance of what is.

-Nurturing- We are human which means we make mistakes and are not perfect.  We need to learn to take care of ourselves as we are with our “imperfections”.

-Validation0 Awareness, acceptance, love and nurturing are stepping stones to self validation.  Visualize positive things you see about yourself. Look in the mirror and find what you physically life about yourself. Remember to be mindful of these positive thoughts throughout your day.

-Read and research about codependency. The internet is a good resource. I recommend “Codependency No More” by Melody Beattie.

There is hope. Find your voice. When you do so, you will be able to learn what fulfills you in life and live a more satisfying one.



Nurturing Your Inner Child:

Close your eyes. Imagine yourself as a child. How old are you? What do you look like? What are you wearing? Who are you living with? Can you identify with that child? How does that feel at this moment? How do you feel as you  connect with her/him? What does this child need from you at this moment?  What is the child emotionally missing? What is interfering with her/him getting what she/he needs? This child needs your compassion. Try visualizing him/her everyday at least once a day. As you perform this daily exercise-take note of yourself as well as of the child. How are you feeling, physically, during the visualization? What sensations are going through your body?  At tend to these sensations- in what part (or parts) of your body are you experiencing them? What types of sensations are they? Can you describe them? Are they dull, sharp, nagging, painful, exciting, exhausting? Do these feelings remain in one part of your body, or do they move around? Do they change forms? What words would these sensations arouse in you? What messages do they suggest? The purpose of this exercise is for you to connect with this “inner child”. The child within you. You need to learn to offer him/her your empathy and compassion. We all want and need to be loved; the love and nurturing we seek is within ourselves.

  Remember the Wizard of Oz? If you need to seek your heart’s desire beyond your own backyard- you never had it to begin with.